High Fashionable

Driving in the car.

Eli (age 5): Henry, you know what I don’t get about grown-ups? How come grown-ups are so hi[mumble].

Julie: What? How come grown-ups are so hyper?

Eli: No. How come grown-ups are so high fashionable?

Dave: What?

Julie: You mean like me and Dave? We’re so high fashionable?

Eli: No, I mean all grown-ups.

Julie: But also me and Dave.

Eli: No. You two are the least high fashionable grown-ups there are.

Julie: What? We’re high fashionable! Wait, what do you even mean? Ok, what could I do to be more high fashionable?

Eli: You could wear lipstick and polish your nails.

Julie: Um.

Eli: And wear a big poufy dress and high heels and no hats.

Julie: Uh-huh.

Henry (age 8): And necklaces and bracelets and earrings!

Julie: I’m wearing earrings!

Eli: Yeah, you should wear necklaces and bracelets too, though. And what’s that stuff you put on your eyes?

Julie: Eyeshadow?

Eli: Yeah. You should wear eyeshadow.

Julie: Ok, ok. What about Dave? How could he be more high fashionable?

Eli: He should wear black pants, a black shirt, a necktie, and dancing shoes. And a top hat.

Julie: So you’re supposed to look like Fred Astaire, Dave.

Dave: What you’re saying is, Julie and I should go out dancing by ourselves more often, and you all should stay home with a babysitter.

[Kids all cheer.]

Henry: [thoughtfully] And the way you could be more high fashionable at a museum would be to wear a dinosaur costume.

[Eli looks at Henry disdainfully, and with pity.]

Eli: When you go out dancing, Julie, you should make sure your dress is really poufy.

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