Just what you wanted: homework!

The gingerbread man ran away and started a large family.

The gingerbread man ran away and started a large family.

Attention, World of Julie Readers! (All 12 of you!) A call to action! A ridiculous, random, call to action!

Henry’s class is studying geography in December. Being December, the geography unit also has a gingerbread theme. I guess the class is going to make a gingerbread man, and then bring him to the school kitchen to be baked. The baker is going to come back and say that, during baking, the gingerbread man ran away. Once the kids get over the incredible terror that comes from baked goods you made yourself springing to life and running off, they are going to learn about geography and mapping as the gingerbread man is spotted traveling around the country.

That’s where you come in. Henry’s teacher wants our friends and family (presumably those who don’t live in South Portland, to make it a little more exciting) to send postcards saying you have spotted the runaway cookie. They’re going to keep track of his adventure on a map.  You’re also supposed to mention that you saw the gingerbread man doing something that he might actually be doing in your area, like, I don’t know, climbing Mount Hood or something. Sweating in Tallahassee (Paticus, I’m sure there’s something else people do in Tallahassee…isn’t there?). You should also, of course, mention that you know Henry, so that Henry continues to rock kindergarten. So your postcard might say something like,

“Dear Kindergartners, Hey! I saw your runaway gingerbread man shopping on Rodeo Drive. Whose convertible was he driving? Sincerely, Henry’s pal, Edwina Sugarcracker.”

Though you’re supposed to sign your own name. Not that I’m telling you you have to. I am proud that all 12 of my readers are probably the funniest and most creative people in the country, so I know you can write something interesting. (The actual example the teacher gave was, “I saw your gingerbread man here in Dallas, TX! He was wearing a cowboy hat!” which isn’t so horrible, but it lacks that certain sardonic edge that I think most elementary school correspondence should have.)

I don’t want to sound like I’m mocking this assignment, because this is exactly the sort of assignment I would come up with if I were a kindergarten teacher teaching geography in December.

Ok, now the paranoid question is: can I actually put the address of Henry’s school on the internet? Will some crazy stalker person figure out who we are from this information and track me down? Am I being ridiculous? Email me at julie AT worldofjulie DOT com for the address. Or comment below if you think it’s fine to post the address. And, on the off chance that someone I don’t actually know wants to send a postcard, please do! Step right up! Especially if you live somewhere where I don’t know anyone else! (Because again, this is all about Henry rocking kindergarten, isn’t it?)

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