Random Product Endorsement: Miracle Skin Transformer
Ok, I realize it’s kind of random that I’m recommending makeup, but, you know, it wouldn’t be the first time. It’s just that: how often does something that claims to be a “miracle skin transformer” actual produce miraculous skin transformations? (Well, at least until you wash it off.)
I got some of this as a sample, obligingly smooshed it on, and then looked at myself in the mirror, shocked. When the hell did I start looking so good? I looked awesome! At which point I went and ordered up a full-size tube.
And now, whenever I’m going to be leaving the house and interacting with actual humans, I slap on some of this stuff, some Benefit Boi-ing under my obnoxiously dark under-eye circles, and I’m good to go. Every time I put on Miracle Skin Transformer, I pause for a moment when it’s on only half my face, and marvel at how the bare side looks like the face of a tired old haggard mom lady, and the miraculously transformed side looks like the face of a well-rested mom chick with excellently smooth and even skin.
It’s also some kind of primer, so your skin is all soft and luxurious.
I will say that I use the color “medium” in this. I am Mrs. Pasty Paleface, so I don’t know what kind of vampires are using the colors lighter than medium. I’ve never used anything approaching medium in anything else. I usually just grab whatever is called, like, “Glowing Aspirin Face” or “Snow-Covered Ground.”