No to No

by | Nov 1, 2008 | Julie | 3 comments

I am realizing that I am entirely too negative these days. I complain a lot about my life (mostly to Dave) (though also a lot to Sutswana) (and Kate and Emily), when in fact my life is really awfully good. I’ve been reading about this whole “being grateful” thing (I don’t mean to put it in quotes like I’m some alien who has never heard of gratitude, I mean it more that it seems to be a new movement or something), and how out-loud acknowledgment of what’s good leads you to realize that there’s quite a lot that’s good.

I really don’t want to become one of those bitter old ladies who is negative about everything and a big sourpuss and no fun at all.

Also I tend to wallow in my negativity, with a mental soundtrack that goes something like this: “I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t I can’t I can’t.” How on earth am I supposed to be happy and productive with that little devil whispering in my ear?

So here’s my challenge to me: I’m declaring this month No Negativity November. I know I may still think negative thoughts, but I’m going to work on not saying them out loud (or writing them), and then hopefully I’ll start thinking positively too.

I am not entirely sure how encompassing this is going to be (I mean…is self-deprecating humor negative? If I quit self deprecation, will the whole of me go POOF and there will just be a strand of hair left on the ground, that one strand of hair that is not self deprecating?). I think for now I’m going to focus on not complaining and not judging other people. And not being a giant grumpus. And — this is likely the big one — not saying I can’t do things that I really can. I’m talking about things like, oh, I don’t know, calling Home Depot to see if our replacement windows came in, rather than spend the day thinking, “I don’t have time for THAT!” when it really only takes two minutes. Or I’m not going to say, “The boys are crazy today! I can’t get anything done!” when the fact is they’re MY kids so isn’t up to ME to correct their bad behavior? I am not talking about doing things like joining three PTA committees just because they’re asking. This is not going to be a month of saying yes to everything, because I’m at a point where I might kind of feel like saying yes to other people is saying no to me and my family, and it’s the “saying no to me and my family” part that I’m trying to fix.


  1. Clog

    I find not watching TV or listening to talk radio a big help in the negativity factor. I also try not to hang around with negative people which isn’t always easy these days. You are always so good at putting a humorous spin on things which reduces negativity too. I certainly don’t think of you as a negative person.

  2. Christina

    I dont think of you as negative at all- your blog certainly doesn’t come across as negative. I totally understand the telling oneself “I can’t do that” even with simple things. Sometimes an overdose of the internet makes me do this even more as I see people doing so much that it seems to trump all my own possibility and overwhelms me with their creativity and accomplishments.
    I read a blog where a woman thought she was complaining too much so now she lists 5 simple things she’s thankful for every day. They are nice to read.

  3. Julie

    I think the other problem with spending too much time on the internet, for me, is that it’s such a huge time suck that I don’t do things like clean the house, and that makes me even more depressed.


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