And here’s what I learned on my self-imposed break from blogging, Facebooking, and mindless internetting:

Surprisingly, not being on the internet is just as addictive as being on it. Very quickly I began to love the days when I didn’t turn my computer on. I loved doing a 30-second scan of unread posts in Google Reader, and then clicking “Mark All As Read.” I read email, and then didn’t bother to reply. I did laundry, exercised, wiped down the kitchen counter more than once a day, and went on walks in the woods with my kids.

The thing is, though, that even with the computer turned off, there aren’t nearly enough hours in the day to get everything done. We’re really struggling, here, to live a full life that honors each of us and isn’t focused on any one thing, on just the kids, for instance. I don’t think we’re being unreasonable. But there is no way we can get it all done. It feels pretty screwed.

And the other thing is just my continuing realization that I’m never, ever alone. A lot of the time the children are quite literally dragging me down. Most of the time two of them are in the same room that I am, and often it’s all three. And they are all talking at once, or crying. So I’m faced with trying to figure out how to get all those things done, the things that I’m hoping will ensure, quite frankly, that I won’t regret my life, and while I’m doing it there are people talking at me. I’m not exaggerating about this. The time I get in a room all by myself each day is approximately one minute. I never get time in my house with no one else in it. Never.* There’s just too many of us.

And so I’ll continue to blog, and to read other people’s writings, because I need an adult perspective during the day, and, mostly, an escape. A week or so ago I got a new computer, and I haven’t installed the camera software yet. When I do, there’ll be lots to show you.

So the break was nice, and necessary, but not quite the cure-all elixir I’d hoped for.

*I really hesitated to put this bit in here because I worried it would make Dave look bad, like he’s not “giving me” time to myself, but please know that he’s the hardest working person on the planet and never rests and has even less time than I do.